Community standards
Fayted is for the moment you almost said something and did not. It works only if the person you are writing to would be glad to be found.
These are the rules for what belongs here. They are not the same as the terms of service, which is the binding agreement between us. This page is the shorter, more useful one: what to write, what not to, and what happens if a post crosses a line.
What belongs here
A missed connection. You crossed paths with someone, something passed between you, and you did not exchange anything that would let you find them again. Write to that person, not about them.
That distinction does most of the work on this page. A post written to someone reads as an invitation and gives them the choice. A post written about someone turns them into material for an audience, and it is the same sentence with the warmth taken out.
Writing something the right person can recognise
The hard part of a good post is being recognisable to one person and anonymous to everyone else. Those pull in opposite directions, and the balance depends entirely on how many people were there.
At a festival, a sparkly cowboy hat identifies nobody. Thousands of people saw a thousand cowboy hats, and the person you are describing is unfindable to anyone who was not standing next to them. In a twenty-person seminar, the same level of detail names someone outright — everyone in that room knows who wore the green jacket on Tuesday.
So the rule is not a list of forbidden details. It is: could someone who was not there work out who this is? If yes, take detail out until the answer is no. What you are left with is usually a better post anyway, because the specific thing that passed between you carries more than a description does.
What to lean on instead
- The thing you both did — what you talked about, what was playing, what you were both waiting for.
- What you noticed about the moment rather than about their body.
- Something only the two of you would know, which is what the verification question is for.
What not to include
- Names. Yours or theirs.
- Where someone works, studies, lives, or can reliably be found again.
- Contact details, including your own. Share those in the chat once you have connected — a post is public, and a phone number in one is visible to everyone who reads it.
People who are working
No posts about someone who was doing their job. Bar staff, baristas, security, shop workers, teaching staff, performers, anyone in uniform or behind a counter.
They could not leave, and they could not be unfriendly to you without a cost. That means whatever passed between you did not carry the same information it would have anywhere else, and a post gives them attention they had no way to decline at the time. This one is not a judgement call — those posts are removed.
What is not allowed
- Anyone under 18. Fayted is 18 and over. If a post appears to be about a minor, it is removed and the account is looked at.
- Sexual or objectifying descriptions. Attraction is the whole point and saying so is fine. Describing a stranger’s body for an audience is not.
- Callouts, shaming, and anything written to be seen rather than answered. This does not become a board for talking about people who are not here to reply.
- Threats, and anything stalking-adjacent — following someone, tracking their movements, describing where they will be.
- Sourcing or selling anything. Mentioning that a night was messy is ordinary; using a post to buy or sell is not.
- Advertising, promotion, and posts that are not missed connections.
- Impersonating Fayted or presenting yourself as staff.
If someone posts about you
You do not have to have an account, and you do not have to explain yourself. Report the post, or write to info@fayted.app and tell us which post it is. We will take it down.
We would rather remove ten posts that were fine than leave up one that made someone feel watched. That is not a difficult trade for us, and it should not be one for you either.
Reporting and blocking
Every post and every message can be reported. You can also block someone, which stops them seeing your posts and stops either of you reaching the other.
A reported post may be hidden while we look at it. That is not a judgement on the post — it is what happens while a decision is pending, and a post that turns out to be fine comes back.
What happens when a post breaks these
- Most of the time, the post is not published and you are told why, so you can edit it and try again. That is the usual outcome and it is not a punishment.
- Some posts are removed after publishing, usually because someone reported them.
- Repeatedly posting things that get removed costs an account its ability to post, and then the account.
- Anything involving a minor, a threat, or a serious safety concern skips all of that.
If you think a decision was wrong, ask us to look again. Say which post and what you think we got wrong, at info@fayted.app. A person will read it.
Meeting someone
A match means one person recognised another person’s account of a moment. It is not proof of anything else, and we have not verified who anyone is.
Meet somewhere public the first time. Tell someone where you are going. Leave whenever you want, for any reason or none. Nobody on Fayted is owed your time because they answered a question correctly.
Changes
These standards will change as we learn what actually happens here. The date at the top is when they last did. If a change is significant we will say so rather than quietly editing the page.